Make America Great Again: Stephen Colbert for President
By Gus Kubiak February 25, 2013
Wake up America! Wake up! With the 2012 presidential race just barely over it is time to begin the search for the Barrack Hussein Obama’s successor.
The Liberal Political Media machine successfully tarnished the images of all our Republican leaders, men like Mitt Romney, Herman Cain, Rick Perry, and the fine gentlemen of the House of Representatives and the Senate. The ridiculous claims of the liberal media about the alleged misconducts of these good men has made them political pariahs, no longer considered by the all too impressionable electorate to be fit for political office.
Already, the Liberal Socialist political monster has endorsed Joe Biden for a spot in the “Democratic” primaries. Considering this it is time for the Grand Old Party, the party of Abraham Lincoln and Theodore Roosevelt, to begin grooming their future president.
So folks, it is time the Grand Old Party nominates a respectable man, a patriotic man, and a man popular with the people of this great confederation of states. A true southern beau, a man with a heritage rooted in the making of America, a big city man, and a man who loves his country.
Stephen Colbert! He is the All-American man the Grand Old Party has been waiting for. He is untarnished by the liberal political machine, he is popular among the electorate, Stephen Colbert is the solution to all our liberal problems.
Just listen to what he has to say on his news show The Colbert Report, all beef stories that represent what it is to be a true red blooded American.
Commentators at Yahoo.com, had this to say about Colbert: “First of all, the man looks good in a flag. We haven't seen a man look that good in red, white and blue since Rocky Balboa in Rocky II”. They also cited what is perhaps the strongest qualifying characteristic about Colbert, saying he “has a direct line to God. God is like Stephen Colbert's Consigliere. No decision will be made without the big G's approval.”
The idea of a Colbert candidacy has even created buzz in foreign media, such as Al Jazeera. Danny Schechter, an opinion columnist for AJ cited the foreign precedent that Colbert has, saying “In Israel, a popular TV commentator has organized his own party. In Senegal, singer Youssou N'dour has announced his candidacy for the presidency. Years ago in Nigeria, the late Afro-beat king Fela Kuti was being touted as the next black president”. Schechter also cites the fact that Colbert had a more favorable opinion rating than former United States Ambassador to China, Jon Huntsman, in the run up to the 2012 election. While this claim is a relative no-brainer, seeing as Huntsman is probably a closeted liberal, it lends itself to the notion that Colbert has significant clout on the political playing field.
With that said, let the race begin! Stephen Colbert is the leader America deserves! If the Grand Old Party does not whole heartedly put itself behind such a qualified candidate then they will doom this once great country to many more years of socialism. If that happens, I fear that what it means to be an American will be destroyed once and for all.